Bad Noun Poetry

As a kid, I thought I was the best poet in the world. I thought poetry was all about rhymes, and I had plenty of those. I scouted pop, soft rock, R&B, and rap music for the best rhymes and collected them in my very own rhyme dictionary. Then, I would write poems for the girls I “loved” at the time and write songs to prepare for my future career as a songwriter that never panned out.

Anyway, the best poet can’t be the best if he hasn’t won anything, right? So, I signed up for a few contests and let’s just say my heart shattered beyond repair and I never wrote poetry like that again. When I grew older, I learned poetry had more to it than rhymes and I realized I sucked at poetry. But I can still rhyme. And every now and again, I feel the urge to write something that rhymes and show off my bad poetry skills.

This is one of those times.

For this week’s Writing Challenge at The Daily Post, they ask us to use a noun list from any source and incorporate them into your writing. I used a random noun generator, and here are the 5 nouns they gave me: Anger, Calculator, Friends, Pigs, Canvas.

A Fresh Start

by: PLIGC, Society’s Used Condom

The clock flashed 10:01 and screamed out “Danger!”

She imagined her father with a face full of anger,

He said “Be home by 10, not a minute later,”

But something didn’t add up; she should’ve used a calculator,

Instead of studying, she went out with her friends,

When her father finds out, she knew her life would end,

To celebrate her last night, they ate like pigs,

They passed bottles of vodka and took multiple swigs,

Eventually, she passed out on some sort of canvas,

As she planned her runaway to somewhere in Kansas.


Back in the day, before the Internet was so popular, my rhymes would be pretty impressive. Now there’s a million rhyme dictionaries and I’m totally not cool with my personal rhyme dictionary :(. Feel free to let me know if I suck at poetry in the Comments section below!


Yours truly,


PLIGC, Society’s Used Condom


P.S. Happy Civic holiday to my fellow Canadians! Enjoy eating your maple syrup and poutine, walking your polar bears in the snow, and playing ice hockey!!!

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One thought on “Bad Noun Poetry

  1. ipidoig

    Greetings, PLIGC. I discovered your blog upon Googling “gym class picked last” for kicks. I’ve just finished reading your posts and wanted to say that I can definitely relate. Since earning my degree in May, my life has bottomed out. I’ve been disabused of my dreams, faced with the reality of my circumstances. I believe that my childhood has finally ended.

    At any rate, I encourage you to keep posting. You’re a compelling character and I truly enjoyed your content.





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